Why I didn't vote today.

As I am sure that you all know, today was election day. This however, was unknown to me until I got a company wide email excusing us to leave early or take long lunches in order to go vote. It wasn't that I forgot, I just was never paying attention. Oops.

You see, I am making a confession here, I am not a political person...at all. So much so that I only vaguely know the difference between Democrats and Republicans and good luck asking me to name anyone of said persuasion.

So it is the same every year. The voting day approaches and it is like the Spanish inquisition as soon as you walk in the door. "Did you vote yet?" "When are you going to vote?" No one dares to ask WHO you vote for, because that would be "too personal". But they can give you the 3rd degree about IF you are voting. And when I say "no", my answer is met with open mouths and aghast faces as if I had just confessed to something as absurd as not liking ice cream or kittens. "How can you NOT vote?" they exclaim with wide eyes that make me feel like a dirty freedom hating traitor.

I don't really have a good reason for never voting. I remember kids that were so excited for their 18th birthdays so they could reister to vote. And here I am 27 and never voted in my life. 9 good voting years that I have squandered away.

As a good American who respects the freedom of opinion and choice, I should be honored to take a stance and do my Americanly duty to vote because I CAN. Especially after all of the fighting my fore fathers and mothers went through in order to win me this freedom to vote. I don't want to disrespect that.

I WANT to get involved. But the moment I open my mind to the political debates and debauchery and TRY to care, all I become is angered and disgusted by the mudslinging and trash talking that goes on. These people don't care about the issues at hand. They just care about the WIN. It is like a high school popularity contest all over again. How is candidate one telling me that candidate two is full of lies going to convince me to vote for candidate one? It is not, and thus - no voting. It is in some ways, the same reason I don't watch the news. But that is a post for another day.

It is not that I don't care or don't have opinions. It is just that my opinions and those of politicians generally don't coincide. I am a rather openminded individual. I am pro choice, pro gay marriage, and pro vegetarian. haha. I maintain that as long as you are not hurting yourself, others, animals or the planet, you are probably alright. Who am I to say what you do with your body, in your bed or with your food. We have plenty of so called "normal" stereotyped people out there in the world causing trouble and harm and yet we are worried about whom is sleeping with whom. I just have no patience for it. Sadly most snooty politicians don't agree with such open-mindedness so it is hard to side with them and hand over my vote.

It just doesn't seem right or fair for me to vote when I don't have a stance on the issues at hand, or don't agree with any of the ideals of the candidates running. I feel that by blindly voting for the sake of voting isn't helpful and just skews the results. Picking someone because their name sounds better than the other guys doesn't seem very fair.

I also don't believe in the "lesser of two evils" approach. So if all of the candidates suck, I am supposed to pick the least sucky guy and hop for the best? WTF?

I feel that politics, like religion, comes from family influence, and my family was never very religious, nor were they very politically active. They voted when it concerned school things or raising taxes, but we didn't really discuss politics at home. We didn't have family feuds over conflicting political views at holidays parties that lead to year long grudges. I was involved in a few political campaign team things for History class in school, but that was about the extent of my involvement.

That is not to say that to say that my life is totally devoid of political influence. My best friend is a principal at a local school and my step mom is a teacher. As you can imagine, they care greatly about the laws and propositions going up for vote, as they do see the direct effects on such things on their schools, budgets and fellow teachers. So I try to pay more attention and care for the sake of others.

I suppose that I would have a more opinionated stance on the issues at hand if I felt that I was directly affected by them. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW that what happens in the voting booths ultimately has an effect on our government, schools, taxes, and what have you. But as a young person that doesn't own a house, doesn't have kids, and is never going to see Social Security it doesn't seem like much changes in my world post-election day.

I know this "young and naive" demeanor is not one that I can maintain very much longer as I'm rounding the corner to 30. But it is difficult to cut through the shit coming out of the mouths of politicians and filter out what would be best course of action. To vote is to make a decision that could ultimately better, or totally fuck up some peoples lives. I am not comfortable being responsible for that. As I am sure you can imagine, I am not alone in these and similar views on the politics. It is a dangerous game we play.

A new November

Image from vladstudio.com (one of my favorite artists)

Hello November.
You snuck right up on me you ninja! After my ridiculously busy October, things are slowing down and taking a breather for a moment before the hustle and bustle of the holidays is upon us before we know it. There are still so many things I want to accomplish before the year is out so I would like to commit to a few of those goals now. Sort of like a pre-new years resolution, I guess. I feel that by posting my goals "out-loud" instead of just keeping a list in my head, they feel more real and I am more likely to hold myself accountable for them. =P So here we go:

• Keep up the good work on C25K
• Start my eating healthy plan...again.
• Finish the billion drafted blog posts sitting in my inbox
• Try to blog about something once a week
• Finish my BlueSparrow website that has been oh so close to complete since August
• Make handmade christmas cards and enjoy crafty time
• Take time to read (and finish the books I started last month)
• Read one spiritual book a month (and by "spiritual" I don't mean religious, more like "self-help")
• Start meditating again

I don't know if I will get to that last one, but it is a goal that I would like to work towards. I would like to become more in tune with my mind and body again. This past hectic month has proved rough to maintain my calmness. I got a bit overwhelmed and stressed at points, and while I know this is totally normal, I still think it is a good time to re-center myself before things get too off-kilter.

Whew, there is a lot to be done before 2011 is here, but I think I can conquer it! Rawrs!

C25K Day 2

Before I get started, I just want to say that I will try to not to be one of those people who blog about their health and fitness progress and what they ate everyday and all that stuff all the time (I will start a new blog for that if I feel the need to be so detailed).  BUT I did want to say that running day two was great! It went so much smoother than day one and it is really motivating to see even a teeny smidgen of progress from day to day. And to not be mostly dead and ready to pass out afterward is good too! ^_~

I slapped on some blister blockers so my current owies didn't get any worse and got to it. I also shortened my stride and didn't have any problems with my hip hurting today which was fabulous! My legs muscles burned pretty good (as expected) but even right now as I am writing this they hurt less then yesterday when I didn't run at all. It is amazing how quickly your body heals and adjusts!

The hardest part was the "Battle of the Bed" and laying there at 5:30 as the alarm went off and arguing with myself about whether to go out or not. "But I'm so sore." "I have a late night tonight so I need more sleep." "My blisters hurt." *whine* But I sucked it up and got to it and am so glad that I did.

I like that Jon is participating too. Having someone else to go with really helps. I can make excuses for days for myself to stay in bed, but if I am committed to someone else then I am less likely to back out.

Another bonus was that it was refreshing to be outside so early in the morning. It is like Arizona woke up yesterday (conveniently on the first day of Autumn) and decided "okay, it is time to be fall". And even though the days still creep up to 100 degrees in the afternoon, the mornings have been crisp and beautiful. I am happy to have been awake and outside to enjoy them. =) This might bode very well for my wanting to be a morning person goal.

Lastly, my new running shoes shipped today and should be here next week! So excited!

Thunderstorm Zen Moment

Last night I stood outside on the patio and watched the thunderstorm. It reminded me of when my dad and I used to sit on the front steps and watch them back home in Idaho. We both love storms - snow storms, crazy wind storms, pouring rains, lightning storms (those were the best!) - all of them.

As I stood there, lost in the moment, I felt the warmth of the concrete on my bare feet. I watched the lightning flash in the sky. I watched the wind whip the trees around in a graceful dance. I listened to the thunder roll across the whole world. I smelled the fresh, earthy dampness of the rain on the trees and grass. I felt the soft drops of cool rain on my skin. And for a few unbroken moments I forgot I was in the city. It didn't sound like a city. It didn't smell like a city. It didn't feel like I was in a city full of 6 million people. It was just me and the trees and the rain. And for a few unbroken moments I felt alive and wholly connected with the world around me.

It was a beautiful moment of peace.

One Step at a Time

Today I took the first step in a healthier lifestyle. The Boy and I started the Couch to 5K (C25K) running program.

It was a great day to start. We are (hopefully) coming to the end of a long, hot summer and are experiencing a few cloudy and rainy days. Today at 6:30am it was overcast, 67 degrees (which is a much welcome change) a bit humid out, but otherwise a beautiful day.

I downloaded the C25K app for my iPhone so that I wouldn't have to worry about keeping time of the walking/running intervals and just ran or walked till it beeped at me to change.

Overall it went about as well as I expected. It was tough, tiring, and almost fun. I think that doing strength training with EA Sports Active this summer helped to build up my endurance so I wasn't totally dead by the end of the run. I was sweaty, flushed, and felt like I might pass out or throw up. But I hear that is common for a newbie. ;)

On the plus side, I didn't have any knee pain or shin splints which is very normal for me when I do any high impact sports or exercises and is mostly why I hate running so much. But I didn't experience any of those problems, which was a huge relief! (Thanks again EA Sports!)

I still had issues towards the end of my workout with my hip hurting (again, another common issue for me) which limited me to walking for the last two run cycles which was kind of a bummer. But it will just take some time to build up strength in those muscles and I didn't want to overexert and injure myself on the first day and be put off on running all together.

I also read up a little today about hip-injuries in runners and there are some things I can do to try to help with the issues so I will try some of those things and see if it gets better. =)

The other problem I had was blisters. I also expected this. Even though it's sandal season, I have very soft, callous-less feet, that I take pride in thank you very much. But those delicate toesies make it easy for blisters to form. I also didn't have the best shoes or socks for running. But had I kept letting not having the right equipment get in the way, I would have never gotten started. ;) Excuses, excuses. So I think that The Boy and I might go shopping for proper shoes sometime this week if we plan to keep things up - which I hope!!

Oddly enough, the hardest part of the whole thing wasn't the running. It was getting out of bed in the morning. I have been trying all summer to "force" myself to become a morning person, and this too will just take time to form good habits. But whether I'm getting up at 5:30am or 11:00am that part is never easy. =P

Suck it, Sucktember

My December 2009 Calendar

So it begins, the busiest time of the year, with Sucktember - as I have so affectionally named it.

The fall/winter months are normally very busy for me, what with birthday shenanigans and the many holidays. But this is also the time of year that Phoenix comes alive. Now that it is nice enough to be outside again after the long hot summer, it is a time for Beerfests, Zoolights, Luminaries at the Botanical Gardens, artwalks, drive-in-movies, Movies in the Park, culinary festivals and all sorts of fun outdoorsy events. This is a busy, but much looked forward to time of year.

But this year, it is no longer just the busiest time of year for my personal calendar, but also the busiest season for my work calendar as well. My company is basically an online women's magazine, and we, like most sites of this nature, are fueled by ad revenue - and as for most retailers, Q4 is a Bad Mamma Jamma.

So we kicked off the busy season with a crazy trip to LA and the deadlines for 3 large projects due the first of October. I have already scheduled in several "late nights" into my work week because I know they will be needed. And the fun doesn't stop till February.

While I totally understand that this is the name of the online advertising game, it still really bums me out. =/ My calendar will be jam-packed already with me trying to cram as much in as I can in the few spare hours between work and bedtime. The extra work hours eating into my already full days is going to be exhausting.

I am beginning to see now why they close the office and give everyone a week off at Christmas - to preserve their sanity and keep their employees. (Christmas. Fuck. That is a whole other stress-inducing holiday.)

PLUS, we are currently looking for a house, which the chances being high that we will be moving sometime this season. Good lord...there's still so much to do.

Costume making, holiday shopping & baking, long work hours, packing and moving into a new house, social events and activities (if I can even squeeze them in!) - it's so overwhelming! >_<;; I am trying to mentally prepare for it.

And I am totally whining about the whole thing.
"But it's so haaaaaaaard." *whines*

*sigh*

Catching Thoughts.

I always think of really great things to write about when I am not in a convenient place to write about them, such as sitting at my desk at work, taking a shower, driving in the car, etc. I draft it all out in my head, and can't wait to sit down and write it! But then when I have the time to write, I can't remember all the fabulous things I wanted to talk about. So I end up jotting some ideas down in a draft, and then it sits in my blog for months. I probably have about 12 drafts pending right now that started out awesome and ended up unfinished. *sigh*

I need to find a better way to document my thoughts. I tried keeping little post-it notes to remind me, and that did well to remind me of the idea, but not of all the points I initially thought to write about. I tried using my iphone voice recorder a few times to record myself dictating my ideas, but that only works when in the car (or when others are not around) and is harder to work with since I have to listen to the the playback instead of just scanning a list that is easy to navigate. I also used to keep a moleskin notebook with me and jot down ideas and sketches as they came to me. This worked fairly well so maybe I will have to get back into that habit and just keep on it this time.

In any case, I am going to have to learn to be more organized. After all, I need all the writing practice I can get before I write my children's book(s) - for which I have several fabulous ideas for - someday. ;) If you have any suggestions or helpful hints on how you catch your toughts, I would love to hear them!

Summer days...drifting away

Phew...Goodbye July. You were fun-filled, stress-full, very expensive, short days, long nights, laid-back, hard working, full of smiles, wet with tears, and all around unforgettable.

This summer has been...interesting. So many crazy things have happened, both great and bad. It has been a roller-coaster for sure!

Summer of Social Solitude

This summer has been surprisingly social-less. Correction, social-media-less. I have been plenty social with those lovely people I have been so lucky to see face to face. ^_^

The social-media drought started shortly before I left to go on my long anticipated summer vacation back home to Idaho. I was so busy preparing for the trip, and then with kitty getting sick, that I almost completely stopped connecting with my usual social media outlets (which need I remind you is an enjoyable part of my day), but with everything going on it, just didn't happen.

As it turned out, it was kinda nice. I didn't have that constant distraction nagging at me to check my Facebook and Twtiter apps every 5 mins. I didn't care who was doing what on Twitter, or who they were doing it with on Facebook or where they were doing it on 4-Square nor did I have a desire to see So-and-so's new pictures they just uploaded to Flickr. I simply didn't care. Not in an emo-I-hate-the-world-and-everyone-in-it-so-I-am-going-to-be-antisocial-this-week-and-see-who-will-even-miss-me kind of way, but in a people-will-do-what-they-do-without-me-having-to-know-about-it kind of way.

I felt untied to the world. Free to do whatever I felt like without having to "check-in". I was able to enjoy the time with my family uninterrupted and while driving home through the boonies of Utah with crappy cellphone reception, I barely even noticed.

I expected I would get home and fall back into my usual social media routine without batting an eye, but it is proving to be harder than I thought! Having not been enveloped in all things online for an extended period of time, you tend to forget they are there. Sitting on the couch reading through book after book or working on my scrapbook pages have proved to be more valuable pastimes lately than spending 2 hours a night (or more!) playing online.

But alas, my heart is tied to the interwebs and it is only a matter of time before I start feeling the inevitable tug of the data at my consciousness and my lappy starts staring at me with big-round-pouty-kitty-cat-eyes.

<-- How can you resist something that cute? You can't.

So even though I am again plugged in, I feel as if I am being a little more picky about where I choose to spend my online time these days. ^_~

Driving Therapy

I had the most lovely drive home last night. I just can't get over how great it was.

The streets were empty, the windows were rolled down with the warm breeze blowing through my hair, the radio turned up, and I just kicked back and cruised about 5 mph under the speed limit. Which anyone who knows me, knows that that is a big deal. For me the rule of thumb is that 5 over the posted speed limit is a totally acceptable speed.

With the windows down I could hear and smell everything that I normally miss due to loud traffic or filtered AC air. I could smell the fishy smell of the Hayden Park pond, sage brush, wet grass, BBQ, and McDonalds french fries. I could hear...quiet. No zooming of cars or police sirens or honking horns. Just the sound of the wind, my tires on the pavement and the radio. There was a moment when I thought I would just go on driving all night. It was beautiful.

I have been very stressed, depressed, busy, and just overwhelmed the past month or so. But when I got home I felt so calm, relaxed and centered. I haven't felt that calm peace for a while, so I went straight home and went promptly to bed so as not to spoil it. =) It was car therapy.

It's not the first time that I have retreated to the car for some "Hyd Time" and then I go to thinking just how much of me comes from driving in cars.


Ever since I was little, my family would take drives into the country. Which sounds so old school and cliche I know, but those were some of my most cherished memories. Living in Idaho also made for some beautiful drives. Whether it was driving up through the mountains on the twisty, dirt roads, starring out into the forest, or cruising along across the open dessert watching the sun go down, I was always happy in the car (or in most cases, the truck).

My parents tell me that they used to take me for drives when I was a baby because sometimes it was the only way they could get me to stop crying and go to sleep. And so driving was instilled in me since childhood. As was falling asleep in the car. A terrible and dangerous habit I have been trying 10 years to break.

I have always enjoyed road trips. For me, it has always been just as much about the drive, as it is the destination. Packing up the car, picking the snacks, music, games, and color books that I will be needing to get me through the trip. Planning all the stops and attractions along the way. Getting there is fun too! Road trips have been a chance to get to know new people. A time to chat and catch up and spend time with friends and family. A time to self reflect while you are cruising along alone. A time to embark on a new adventure because you never know what kinds of crazy things might happen out on the open road.

I have spent so many hours in the car. Chatting with a friend for hours in the parking lot. Crying with my head resting on the steering wheel. Driving around exploring the city. Discovering new music. Some of the most serious conversations I have had in my life have taken place in the seat of a car. It is kind of amazing to think about.

My car, to me has always been the one thing that was MINE. My ultimate personal space, the place I didn't have to really share with anyone else unless I invited them into it. A place I could retreat to to be alone. My safe zone.

My car is my "happy place". <3

Violet-Hued Hyd

"Violet! You are turning violet, Violet!"



I have been rocking the purple hair this summer and loving it!! I have always loved coloring my hair but the fad faded during my starving college years due to a serious lack of fundage. But lately I have indulged a little, and gone crazy a little too!



My fabulously awesome hair stylist Miss Haley* loves my hair and had been begging me to let her color it. I hadn't colored my hair for 5+ years so I figured, what the heck. So she put a few blonde streaks in my hair the first time and since then I have been hooked! And this summer, I was jones'in for some purple!

I know there will be a time when I will go back to semi-conventional hair color. Maybe some reds for the fall/winter season, but for now, this summer is violet-hued.


*If you'd like some awesome colored hair, or just want a regular cut, Haley is a freaking magician when it comes to hair. She is the most amazing hair stylist I have ever known and the only one who has been able to rock my hair so well. I have never loved my hair so much ever ever! I highly recommend her! You too boys! She rocks men's locks too! Make an appointment...NOW!

Choppers Salon Scottsdale
480-922-0262

Moments of MisMis 2

Moments of Music:
Artists on the Playlist this week:

• Soft: Feist (because sometimes I need to be calm and centered)
• Chick Rock: Paramore (because sometimes angry chick rock is good for the soul!)
• New Band: Waking Avalon (because "6 Billion People can't be Wrong" and I can't get that song out of my head. =P)

Also kudos to Douglas and Jesse for becoming "regulars" at the Salty Senorita! Nice music boys!

Moments of Humor:
"Little Bitty Kitty wanna fight! Fight! Fight!" Hahahahaha

Moments of Movement:
The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (www.vhemt.org)
Oh, I am so on board with this one.

Moments of Frustration:
"I can't get the fucking code...DAMN! I will kill everyone in the world!"

Moments of Friendship:
A Friend bringing Frosty and French Fries.
A balloon blowing therapy session.

Moments of Love:
Head pets and e-flowers.

Moments of Memories:
Happy Birthday Sethie. =*)

Moments of MisMis

I have been meaning to do this little "moments" thing every week. But as you can see my whopping total of 7 posts goes to show that I have been skipping more than a few times. So this is #1, a collection of the last week...or so.

Moments of Music:
Songs in my head this week:

• "Beautiful" by James Blunt (because everytime I go to BuddhaDave.com I get this one in my head. Beautiful song. Sad, but beautiful.)
• "Sugar We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy
  (because Sami had been humming it at least 3 out of the 5 days this week. =P )
• "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas (I am not really a fan of Rob Thomas, but this song stuck in my head all week and I didn't mind so much.

Radio Finds:
Ever since the days of the i-Pod BhikkhuDave is anti-radio. Fair enough, but being i-Pod less for so long, all I had was the radio. And I still find some good things on there that I would have missed out on if it wasn't for the radio. These are my latest faves. They are not so "new finds" anymore, but like I said, I am a little behind on the blogging.

• "Calling You: by Blue October (I heard this one a while back but it is still nice to hear it again. Still a fan. Really cute.)
• "Everything Changes" by Staind (I really don't care for much of anything that comes from this band. But I heard this song on the radio on Thursday and really liked the lyrics, so I looked it up and was surprised to find it was Staind. Now when I hear it, it sounds like them but I still like it.)
• "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield (I don't particularly love the sound of this song. It is not my favorite, but it is not horrible either. I do however really like the lyrics. They are very poetic and paint a pretty mental picture. I like it.)

Moments of Humor:
Hearing my boss use the term "shit storm" in a work related conversation, and #263.

Moments of Irony:
This happened to me today while I was sitting in the lobby of Nissan waiting for my truck to get serviced. I was looking through a book of art called "PostSecret" and had been contently reading by me onesies for over an hour when a gentleman that worked there sat down next to me and starting chatting. He asked what I was reading and if anyone of you are familiar with this book, it is not something that you would want to sit down and go through with a total stranger. It is a book of secrets, and some of them are far from pretty. But he had heard of the project and started flipping through the book, not more than a few pages of flipping and he comes to a double page spread proudly proclaming the "N word". He was African American. Though I don't think he gave a damn about it, I felt terribly awkward. Of all the pages.... "Why hello nice man in the checkered tie. Care to have a look at my racially offensive book of horrible, humorous, and dirty secrets fashioned together as a work of art?" Luckily, I was saved just in time as the man came to tell me that my truck was finished. Not the most comfortable of situations I have ever been in.

Moments of Memories:
A year ago today was the first time that I went to a strip club. And the first time that I ever got really smashed. These kinda things tend to go hand in hand I guess.

Moments of Perfect Thought:
I didn't get any perfect thoughts this week, but I do know a girl that was nice enough to share hers. Thanks.

Moments of Love:
Telling a cute boy to be nice and give me cuddles because I felt like crap and I needed them to make me feel better. And he did. And they worked.

Moments of Celebration:
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mommies. I love you Mom.